Bakura and Marik Work At
by Vladroxmysox
Summary: Bakura and Marik work at you the reader get to decide. My inspiration was from a person on Tumblr wanting to read a fan fiction of this. Slight hinting of Thiefshipping and Deathshipping. Harsh language, perverted things, and well yeah.
1. Bakura and Marik Work At Subway

(Okay so this is my first fan fiction to actually kind of post on here, go ahead and critic guys. I'm not sure if this story was done yet before, but if it has please tell me and I will take it down only if you offer proof to where its at. I got this lovely idea from a person on Tumblr, who wished to see a fan fiction of this. I hope I made your wishes come true. I have grammar issues I know so don't go all grammar Nazi on me but yes please tell me my errors. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy it. This includes some Thiefshipping and Deathshipping references, swearing, and perverted jokes and well some harsh words. I don't own these characters at all either. Oh yes please feel free to add in some suggestions if you like it I may make more, I need things to do this summer).

Bakura and Marik Work At...Subway?! (with a few tagalongs)

It was a peaceful afternoon, the birds were chirping, the sky was not falling, and it was rush hour. Oh did I say peaceful afternoon? I meant to say, a hellish afternoon. Will there be a lunch break in my future today? Bloody hell no! The only thing keeping my insanity intact among these stupid, impudent mortals is my hikari Ryou. And thats not saying much, considering the fact I'm only allowed to kill these assholes on the days I don't work, otherwise I'll get sprayed by a spray bottle named Steve. Yes...Ryou has a spray bottle...I don't know where he hides it but he has one and whats even worse is that he allowed Marik to name it, of all people.

Okay so to the story plot shall we? So to make things simpler, I'm not working at Burger King, or McDonalds, I'm working at Subway. Which bloody sucks even more sense no one can really die of a heart attack at Subway and I didn't even choose this job, it was thrown together by Ryou himself. Not only that but I get to work right next to said blondie that's currently discussing hair products to one of our customers.  
"No no no, you can't use L'Oreal, because I am friggin worth it but you sir are not worth it!" Marik said with his overly whiny nasally voice.

"But I'm a girl-," the customer replied.

"I said you are not friggin worth it and heres your crappy food next!?" Marik screamed and broke another customers glass, filled with some sugary drink that I'm surprised Subway even has. What can I say we are hypocrites to.

"Hey dude are you listening, I said I wanted a footlong-," another random customer bloody replied.

"You only wish you had a footlong," Marik's yami snapped at the customer.

"Not like you have one either porcupine," I replied as I walked past trying to help another customer, yes I know me helping? What a laugh.

"Hey its bigger then yours," Melvin replied to my comment.

"Thats not what she said," I replied while indicating at Ryou not so subtly.

"Its true his is bigger then yours Mel!" Marik practically yelled even though he was 3 ft from the both of us.

"At least I don't finish early" Melvin screamed out to the entire restaurant. Now you really know he is Marik's yami.  
So what did I do, did I walk away? No that requires kindness, I instead threw the knife that I had in my hand at the moment at him, sadly stabbing a customer in the arm. Oh well I was going to get him to one way or another, bloody cheapskape paying one dollar below his actually price. I mean honestly its stressful enough being surrounded by morons 24\7 and even that to me is working hard for my money so you either pay the full price or you get a free stab in the arm, or the eye socket whatever works for you.

Sadly a voice broke into my thoughts, no I'm not crazy its just the greatest thing to hit Subway ever, just so you know that was sarcasm. We not only need to try to take customer orders from the counter but we also have to multi-task to take orders in the mortals cars. Honestly it wouldn't kill you to walk a couple feet to the damn restaurant doors will it?

"Yes what the bloody hell do you want," I said turning my attention to a very, "big boned" fellow.

"I want two footlongs, one steak and cheese and the other a big philly cheesesteak", the big fellow replied.

"Would you like to super size your heart attack while we're at it?," "Honestly I think maybe you should have the veggie delight and well that is a lot of cheese," I replied in my most sweetest innocent voice I could possibly talk in, which is not at all.

"Oh that reminds me I would like a 6 inch Subway Melt while your at it, and a large drink," He replied uneffected.

"I meant that as a joke, I really don't want to have to deal with a second fatality today, I'm already on probation, and Melvin's basically taken out the one I stabbed in the arm a moment ago," I tried to explain to him a slow voice used to talk to stupid people. Like I said, stupid ass mortals. I waved him on to Marik who's just sitting there filing his nails and flipping his hair.

"Alright who else wants to die of food poisoning, chop chop I don't have all day," I casually said.

A promising woman walks up to the counter, and you know those customers that take a really long ass time to decide because they didn't decide before they got in line, well this was happening for the four hundreth bloody time that day.

"What do you recommend?" the women asked showing off her nice rotted teeth to me.  
What can I say? I've never eaten here, knowing that most of the time Marik cooks and handles most of the damn subs and also because I like to piss off the rest of the workers by going to Burger King and eating. Trust me its fun, you have to try it. So being the nice, honest, sadistic person I am I offered my opinion.

"I think you should eat somewhere else because there is a big ass line behind you made up of mostly fat people, and trust me they get really hungry really fast and I don't want to be their next meal," I stated giving the bird to whoever glared at me because of my comment.

"But I want to eat here though," the women replied stupid as can be.

"Then please tell me what the bloody fuck you want to eat so I can move on with the rest of my life!" I practically shouted at her.

"How can a fuck be bloody, are you British mister?" a child popped up behind said women.

"No I'm fucking Scandinavian, yes I'm British, do you know what the hell you want because your slut of a mum has no fucking clue," I replied heatedly while listening to Marik chattering on the phone and not paying any fucking attention to the orders.

"Oh my frig I know, how the hell could he do that to you girlfriend, oh your a guy? Are you asking me out? You sound like Bakura. Oh sorry I'm not gay. Well your as gay as a circle. Okay bye!", Marik said all in one breath.

I stared at him with my mouth opened, only because that's the shortest time he ever talked to someone before, and quite frankly I was jealous it wasn't me.

"Okay I'm done!" I said while throwing my hands up in the air. "If you need me Marik I will be at home, and I expect you will be there right after work to fuck me into the couch, mattress, whatever even the bloody floor, at least then I don't have to work in this dump ever again."

"That sounds like a great plan Kura, lets go Ryou!" Melvin exclaimed like an excited child and practically almost takes Ryou's arm off by dragging him out the door.

"Ewwww you guys smell like yoorine I'm gonna go be a bad boy and play like Bloodlines...or something...so yeah...Fluffy wait up and I told you I'm not gay!" Marik called running after Bakura and complaining that his mascara was going to run due to this heat. See what I have to deal with? I got banned from McDonalds and Melvin's going to cook tonight, and I won't get laid while Ryou gets to...forcefully but hey he still gets laid. So the moral of this story is, if you see me working at a fast food restaurant, unless you'd like to be stabbed in the arm or burned alive, I suggest you run out of there as fast as you bloody can.

(Note: Did you notice Ryou didn't talk at all in this one? Lol maybe next time little creampuff.)


	2. Bakura and Marik Work At Disneyworld

Bakura and Marik works at...Disneyworld!?  
( I do not own the four characters)

Picking up where we left off, our four favorite characters managed to get themselves fired from Subway, okay make that three because I, Ryou, didn't do anything. So I decided to exact my own revenge on the three idiots and fill out four applications to Disneyworld. Whats so bad about that? Its like every childs dream to go there. First of all, we got two psychos and a fashion diva. Second of all, our jobs...are cosplaying as the disney characters. And sense I didn't get any screentime in the last chapter, the author decided to announce me as this chapters narrator. So sit back, eat some creampuffs, and enjoy the show.

"Here we are, Walt Disney's Disneyworld Florida," I announced smiling brightly at all the rides and people milling about while Marik was reapplying his gobs of make-up and Bakura and Melvin were fighting over which weapons were better, chainsaws or knives.

"About bloody time, I can't even feel my ass, bloody six hours, SIX HOURS with those two wankers in the back seat," Bakura complained like always.

"Oh shut it Fluffy, at least two idiots didn't frig up your make-up,"Marik snapped back at him.

"Ladies, ladies your both pretty, now can we please just get this work day overwith," I grumbled, my mood slightly ruined already, thank god for my Ipod, I don't think I could've last driving three freaks to bloody Disneyworld for our new job without it.

So after dragging said freaks into the amusement park, we started to get into our costumes. Marik was Peter Pan. Melvin was the Mad Hatter (good choice I know). I was Alice from Alice in Wonderland, and my yami...well...he was Cinderella.

"Bloody hell I refuse to dress as a bloody girl, how the bloody hell do females walk around in these bloody things," said yami started to complain.

"I friggin' can't believe it, they expect me to wear a costume that doesn't reveal my midriff!?" Marik exclaimed, equally ticked at the costume choice.

I for one, didn't care if I was dressed as a girl, like I said, it feels bloody brilliant! The only bad thing is, I wasn't allowed to wear my gaydar, and trust me I'm probably going to attract a lot of gay people. The only person actually truly happy with his costume, was Melvin, because he is mad...very mad.

"Ugh, fine lets just get this overwith Fluffy," Marik said stalking off to god knows wherever in the amusement park.

Melvin put his arm around my shoulder and got super close to my face,"Looks like we're together creampuff, I gotta say I'm going to enjoy every moment of this."  
I felt my face starting to heat up. Remember when I said I would probably attract lots of gay people today? I meant him. Not to mention he's the one taking "care" of the rod, lets just say I hope he doesn't sit on me...at all...because that would hurt...a lot.

Bakura huffed and stomped off to Cinderella's Castle, and I don't even know what he's going to do to those poor kids there.

~About two hours later

"This is actually pretty bloody fun, wouldn't you say Melvin?" I asked innocently.

"I don't understand, where is all the bloodshed, the terror, all I see is smiling families and mushyness," he asked quite confused, I mean if you were a psycho in Disneyworld I'm sure you would be confused to.

"Not everything needs bloodshed in it, does it?" I replied.

"No I guess not, but it would be fun...oh hey there's Marik," he said, pointing to said Peter Pan.

"What do you mean I'm not sexy, its your own friggin loss you frig face, oh hey guys," Marik said waving at the two of us.

"Hey, how are you doing so far?" I asked.

"Oh pretty good, I still think this costume should show my midriff...I got asked to sign a few people, I even signed a girl's breast, but they weren't as big as Mai Valentines breasts, have you seen those things they are huuuge," he replied back.

"Uhm...that's...nice Marik...very nice," I replied back to him, feeling Melvin's arm on my shoulders again.

"Oh yeah? Well creampuff and I here signed a pair of breasts that were bigger then two of Mai Valentines combined and a girl's ass," he bragged, purposefully trying to piss his hikari off.

Marik's face started to flush,"Well I'll have you know I signed a guy's ass because I'm totally straight."

"Yeah as straight as a circle," Bakura replied, walking up to Marik, looking like a total wreck,"How do ladies where these damn corsets (I do believe thats what they are called) I can barely breathe in this thing, did you know I nearly bloody passed out a moment ago and in this bloody heat to."

"I'm sorry your feeling this way Kura, you got the suckiest job out of all of us," I said sympathetically.

"Its your fault for signing us all up for this blasted job anyways, I got glomped by girls and ladies alike and most of them had high heels on!" Bakura snapped," I just want to go home and watch some bloody Cannibal Haulocast." (huge epic fail right there.)

"Well our shift is almost over anyways, maybe they'll let us ride some of the rides for free, or eat somewhere, or something," I said, trying to make it up to him.

"I don't want to bloody eat here, or bloody hang out around this shit amusement park, I want to go home and force you to cook dinner and just hang out there," he started screaming like some cranky six year old.

"Dude if you don't chill out you really are going to pass out, in fact I'm surprised you can talk so much considering that corset must be awfully tight on you," Melvin said, sounding much more intellectual then he actually was.

"I'm gonna make you pass out from blood loss if you don't bloody shut up," he snapped back at him.

"LADIES, LADIES YOUR BOTH PRETTY NOW SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP," I screamed to the top of my lungs, earning a bunch of looks from people.

"Is there a problem here?" one of the workers said.

"Nope, sorry Alice here was practicing her yelling in case the Mad Hatter does something stupid," Bakura replied.

"Oh, well please be aware of choosing said words carefully," the worker said stalking off to a couple of delinquents spray painting some random sign that I don't care about.

"Well I'm going home whether you try to stop me or not," Bakura said stalking off only to be hugged by random little girls,"SHIT, I mean shiftkey, Ryou press the shift key!"

"Where's the shift key!?" I shouted.

"I don't know but go bloody find it!" he shouted back at me.  
Melvin decided to walk through the crowd to the little girls and pick them up, two at a time and send them flying with a random baseball bat he just happened to find in one of the lovely gift shops.

"Wow we're going to be fired for sure," I said.

"Yes no more midriff concealing shirts for me," Marik said happily.  
Shivering on the ground was poor Bakura traumatized by everything he went through today, which is probably worse then an anime convention plus reliving the Kul Elna incident all over again.

"Yep its time to go home, we're bloody done with this shit," I said, dragging my traumatized yami home while Melvin skipped happily behind me, followed by Marik re-reapplying is make-up.

"Ryou there really is blood shed in this place, and I'm the one who caused it," Melvin said happily.

"Yes you did, this costume is seriously itchy," I replied.

"At least you don't have tights that keep crawling up your ass, jeez these things are worse then Bakura when he's drunk," Marik shouted.

"Too much information Marik, too much information," I mumbled.

~  
Authors Note: No I haven't been to Disneyworld at all so I probably screwed up a lot, and I don't think this is the best that I have done. I would like to say thank you to Modern Marvels for giving me the idea of them working at Disneyworld. In fact I might as well just keep the four of them in this series. I know I didn't have Ryou saying anything beforehand so this is repayment for the poor little creampuff. Sorry I ignored you Ryou. This is also to cheer up a friend of mine on here because yesterday she seemed to be having a bad day. You know who you are :).


	3. Bakura and Marik Work At A Haunted House

Bakura and Marik Work At A Haunted House

(Alright ladies and gentlemen sense first chapter have Bakura's POV and the second chapter had Ryou's POV, this time it'll be Melvin's POV which I think will fit this chapter quite nicely. This is a shout out to cocobean2010 for being my first reviewer ever and coming up with this idea and another shoutout to my second reviewer LSSJGurl. I'm super freaking bored lately and I kind of just wanted to write something so here you guys are. I do not own the Yu-Gi-Oh characters at all, wish I did but I don't so yeah)

~  
"Wait we're working at a haunted house, its not even July yet," Marik exclaimed.

Bakura face palmed at Marik's stupidity,"I think you mean October."

"No I meant July, jeez Fluffy you need to work on your dates."

"Ughhhh."

"Does this involve mass murder," I asked the only person capable of doing anything in this house, Ryou.

Ryou sighed softly,"No this doesn't involve mass murder."

"Okay but can it involve mass murder," I asked innocently

"BLOODY HELL MELVIN NO IT CAN'T INVOLVE MASS BLOODY MURDER!" Ryou shouted.  
Everyone in the household quieted down and stared at the small innocent cream puff with a look of shock, you'd think we were a bunch of overweight kids staring at a huge candy pile. I watched with sadness at Mr. Tweetums flopped over, dead from a heart attack at such a shock.

"Don't mind my hikari, he's just pissed off because he can't watch The Young and the Restless," Bakura said, putting on his trademark smirk.

Ryou blushed with embarrassment and made a series of choked noises.

"Okay but can I think about mass murder?" I said to break the silence.

~Nightime  
I knew we shouldn't have eaten at Taco Johns before we got here, my stomach gurgling upsetedly, or maybe it was because Bakura was prancing around like a child on Christmas Day, sounds and everything.

"I love you Ryou, I don't know if I told you that but I seriously love you right now, can I hug you?" he rambled on excitedly.

"Okay who the hell spiked Bakura's drink before we got here, I'm looking at you Melvin," Ryou replied while backing away from the suddenly huggy Bakura.

"I wish Fluffy acted like that around me," Marik pouted, staring at Bakura as he hugged some random hobo in sheer glee.

"And I wish I didn't have to call you my hikari, honestly your probably ten pounds heavier with all the make-up you put on your face, plus the spray tan," I said, quite loudly for everyone to hear Marik's secrets...because I just love him that much.

Marik glared at me and opened his mouth to say something before the manager came over.

"Right you must be the next four slaves we hired, I mean bondage slaves, I mean workers," he said.

"Yep that be us, now where are the knives huh huh huh," Bakura asked excitedly," SHOW ME WHERE THE FUCKING KNIVES ARE!"

"Does Bakura want a steak, does Bakura want a steak, yes he does yes he does want the steak," Ryou said, holding up a steak and talking to Bakura like he was a dog...or a cat...or a goldfish...hey don't look at me like that I have seen people talking like that to a nearly tackled Ryou and proceeded in practically choking himself to death on the steak itself.

"Holy ra slow down we need you to be Jack the Ripper," I said concernedly, mostly about our paycheck and if he died where his paycheck will go to and inwardly hoping it wasn't Marik. He still owes me $200 from his last shopping spree. Bakura growled in response while chewing on his steak.

"Alright so follow me to wear your costumes are," the manager said walking away.  
Being the person I am...I personally dragged Bakura by the bat wing to where the costumes were in such a painful fashion that I should've been stoned for it, in fact I think I heard a few sniffles coming from the psycho killer.

"I should do that the next time he misbehaves...oh yeah I still got this thing," Ryou said holding up Steve the spray bottle, used on Bakura or even Marik if they misbehave. As for my punishment for misbehaving...is not being able to watch Adventure Time...hey shut the frig up thats a good show.

"OH MY BUGGER NOT STEVE," Bakura shrieked running around.

"Okay now I know someone spiked his drink," Ryou said.

Bakura continued running around until he found all the weapons where he then moaned wistfully. I swear I saw a bulge in his pants...not that I was looking...because I totally want Ryou. That sweet...innocent...creampuff...his screams filling up the whole house in pain and ecstasy...

"Okay porcupine, you get to be Jason," the manager said practically throwing the costume at me and nearly jabbing my eye out with a knife that I could've sworn was real.

"And you, cat boy, stop undressing those knives with your eyes, your Jack the Ripper," the manager said turning to Bakura who was practically drooling at the sight of all the weapons even if they were fake.

"You, princess are going to be Edward Cullen," the manager said facing Marik and chuking a bunch of glitter at him and then facing Ryou,"while you get to be Freddy Cougar."  
"Hey can I show my midriff," Marik asked like it was the most important thing in the world next to breathing.

"Sure why the hell not," the manager replied, walking off to help a pair of hobbit looking people...oh that was Yugi.

"Your name is going to be Jessica and we are going to make sweet hatred all night long tonight, just you and me hating each other," Bakura said in a husky voice while rubbing a knife against his face lovingly.

~Now the party begins  
Finally, after a few hours, everyone was in a ready position. Marik was covered in glitter and reapplying his reapplied reapplied applied make-up and checking his already fabulous hair. Ryou was nervously staring at his yami and seeing if his claws were working. Bakura was drooling with excitement and psychoticness that I don't think I've seen before. Except if I looked myself in the mirror here and there. After a few minutes a couple of little kids entered our domain...heh heh I like that...our domain...heh...ehhh you had to be there I guess. Marik was up first...

"Frig off or I'll arrange Fluffy and I to rearrange your sock drawer or something," Marik exclaimed. A little boy freaked out and took out a can of pepper spray, effectively making Marik scream his friggin head off. Then it was Bakura's turn...

"ITS RAPING TIME, I MEAN DYING TIME RAAARGHHH,"Bakura screamed at them, only effectively making one little kid wet their pants, drooling on another kid, and making another tag along bored out of its skull. I say it because I really don't know what sex gender that one is. It looked like Lady Gaga's offspring. Then it was little creampuffs turn...

Ryou practically froze up and started screaming to the top of his lungs," AHHHHH PEOPLE!"

He effectively traumatized all the kids and all I had to do was wave my chainsaw in front of their faces. So in all means...Ryou was the most effective.  
~Round 2  
We waited there in which what felt like hours, two of us were very turned on right now, for no apparent reason...-suspenseful voice-.

"SO WANNA TALK ABOUT OUR LOVE LIVES!?" Marik practically screamed.

Ryou screamed again like a pansy ass.

"What love lives?" I replied

"I love this knife soooooo much,"Bakura said rubbing two knives against his face instead of one and drooling like a love sick fan girl.

"Shhhhh I hear a few more people coming,"Ryou whispered.  
He was right, of course the creampuff was right he was always right. So following the same pattern and the effectiveness, Marik was first up to bat.

"Oh my ra I love your shoes, where'd you get them, oh and your hair could use an uplift, I don't even want to know what happened to your hair, also your tan is fake," Marik rambled on, effectively boring the hell out of the group of people consisting of three teens and a kid.

Bakura forgetting that he was weilding fake knives decided to go after a few of them with a blood curdling warrior cry and spittle flying from his mouth. In fact I think I saw him try to eat one of the customers...I wasn't sure though because the lighting was pretty bad in my mask. Effectively freaking the hell out of the group to the point of running into each other also with the help of Ryou who was shrieking at the top of his lungs and trying to pry his yami off one of their heads. I for one...didn't get the chance to even do anything to them since they were running off to the next throng of terrors before I got the chance.

"I thought you said no mass murder," I said glaring at Ryou.

"I was worried about you and mass murder not my yami!" Ryou said struggling to keep his yami under control who was still trying to run after the group which was long gone already.

~Round 3  
After Bakura calmed down with the help of the steaks Ryou always carries around we were silent once again with the occasional sound of Marik sighing which sounds like a cow giving birth if I do say so myself. Ryou was playing angry birds on his phone and I was stuck here standing with my stomach growling in hunger.

"I have to go peetinkle," Marik complained silently.

"Shut up no one cares," Ryou said crabbily rubbing his arm where Bakura bit him somewhere in the midst of their fight.

Bakura was licking one of his knives like it was a lollipop and mumbling about death and destruction. Then I started to hear the last group of kids for the night and prepared myself to make at least a couple of them piss themselves if they didn't already. 3...2...1-

"AHHHHHH OH MY RA WHO DID YOUR MAKE UP THIS MORNING," Marik screamed to the top of his lungs at the group, effectively not freaking either of them out and also pissing himself in the long run. Bakura on the other hand.

"DIE DIE DIE DIEEEEEE," Bakura screeched to the top of his lungs, effectively shattering Ryou's computer and scaring a couple of girls until a little girl reached up and started petting his head.

"Kittyyyy," the little girl squealed with joy.  
Ryou and I looked at each other with such a "what the fuck" expression we probably could've blown up the world with it. Bakura simply lowered his raised arm with the knife and stares at the little girl perplexed and also purring much to the little girl's delight. It took a few minutes to dislodge the tiny creature from Bakura who gave the little girl a souvenir...a knife to take with her.

"They grow up so fast,"I started to cry,"I wish all little girls were bad ass like that."  
Ryou stared at me for a few moments before taking his yami's ear and dragging him back outside while Marik tried tackling me for a piggy back ride.

~Outside

"Well that was fun wasn't it,"Ryou said his eye twitching slightly.

"No one died and there wasn't any blood shed apart from your arm,"I mumbled moodily.

"Yeah well I'm probably going to get rabies...I can't remember if I got Kura's rabies shot or not," Ryou mumbled to himself.

Bakura on the other hand was passed out in the car with a bunch of stolen weapons from the haunted house and Marik was staring at him like a creeper. All in all it was pretty fun...I still wish their was death and blood shed, but pretending is enough I guess. By the way I still have indigestion...friggin Taco Johns.


	4. Bakura and Marik Work At A Hair Salon

Bakura and Marik Work At A Hairsalon

(Okay so I'm very ungodly tired right now...but I want to write something to get my mind off things. I got a nice idea for Marik's POV because I've been having a hard time finding something that will...well ya know click together. And so thanks to this idea I can also move on to other ideas of mine or suggested to me by fellow reviewers. This chapter is kind of dedicated to Nightengalenightthief...probably didn't spell that right huh. She's been kind of in an iffy mood lately and I wanted to cheer her up. She's been really nice to me and one of the few people that keep me from being lonely. Whoever suggested me this idea, this is also for you to. Thanks for the suggestion, really and truly honestly I appreciate it!)  
~

"No buggering way," Bakura grumbled.

"Oh come on Bakura it'll be fun, I can teach you how to be sexy like me," I replied, flipping my hair in emphasis to my statement.

"I said no bloody way Marik I don't want to clip people's hair for a bloody living," Bakura continued to grumble.

I gasped,"You don't just cut their hair Bakura, you perfect it!"

"Yeah because we are great at perfecting everything we bloody touch."

"Why don't you get off your friggin man period already, besides I already invited your stupid hikari and my yami to join us!"

They both turned around to a sniffle, which happened to be Ryou,"I'm not stupid!"

"Are you crying!?" I shouted to the top of my lungs for no apparent reason just to piss Bakura off.

"No its these bloody allergies," he replied and said sarcastically,"Nothing like being surrounded by more hair to get rid of some allergies, eh Bakura?"

"Shut up hikari"

"STOP THE CONFLICT!" I screamed again, managing to break only like a dozen friggin mirrors.

Melvin happened to walk in at that point and clutched his ears in pure agony. "GOD DAMMIT NAPPPAAAAAAAA," he also screamed from the top of his double-toned voice.

"Oh hey Ryou remind me to grab some tampons for Bakura, he's on his man period," I said normally like nothing just happened.

"Ugh..."  
~

"We're friggin here!" I exclaimed with glee,"Isn't it the most beautiful thing you've set eyes on Melvin?"

"The only beautiful thing I've set eyes on was a masocated body of one of my victims," he replied with a strangely normal voice instead of his normal psychotic voice.

"U-uhm...thats quiet beautiful Melvin," Ryou said politely in a squeaky voice before sneezing the loudest sneeze of someone his stature could sneeze.

Bakura looked at his hikari with surprise,"I thought that was a shotgun, you got my hopes up for nothing hikari, thanks a lot."

"Your welcome."

"I command you all to shut the friggin hell up, I also command you guys to get me a burrito, I haven't eaten anything yet today," I said loudly enough for the entire nation to hear me.

"Why do you have to be so loud," Bakura grumbled.

"Get your own damned burrito you have two legs," my yami mumbled.

"I would like a burrito to," Ryou sniffled

"Don't encourage him Ryou!," Bakura and Melvin screamed back at him.

Leaving the three sexy males but not sexier then me behind, I walked up to the front desk to check us all in.

"Why do we even need to get a job together," Bakura mumbled,"Its no wonder we manage to get fired every single day."

"You know you'd miss us Fluffy," I said coming back toward the group,"Anyways if we get fired from this your all dead to me, including Ryou who barely does anything."

Ryou sneezed in response.

~Round 1

"When I get done with you, you will look almost as sexy as me," I exclaimed smirking at the said little kid that I was styling. Melvin on the other hand was launching into his random killing sprees, not leaving out one detail to the small kid he was styling...which mostly included just cutting random chunks of hair.  
Ryou on the other hand was cowering in the corner because his customer was too demanding and well...its not like Ryou has any styling experience.

As for Bakura...Bakura was actually doing...awesomer...t-then me. I was practically styling the kid in exactly the same way I style my own hair but Bakura was actually following directions and adding cool streaks here and there like it was no ones business. Ryou watched in admiration and Melvin watched until he accidentally buzz cut off said customers ear.

~Round Two

Okay so I got jealous and I started to add a lot of streaks to my customers hair...a lot of colors that did really go together...but I was jealous of Bakura and I really didn't care. Melvin on the other hand, sat next to Ryou and handed him a tissue here and there. The bastard already got himself fired, in less then 20 minutes, thats a new record.

Bakura on the other hand was so into his own work he didn't really pay attention and he had customers practically lined up to him. In fact I even chuked a pair of scisscors at him and he didn't even bat an eyelash when they stabbed into his arm. Thats what I call dedication.

"Dude is your yami okay, I didn't know he liked styling people," Melvin said, playing around with the little kid's ear he buzz cut off.

"He doesn't, in fact he hates people, I think this is just one of the few moments that he's actually doing something good for once," Ryou replied. "That or he's secretly screwing up people's hair without them knowing."

"I hope for the latter," Melvin replied.

"I hope so," Ryou agreed.

~Round Two

"Its round two, Marik doesn't have any customers because they all flocked to Bakura instead," Melvin said loud enough for everyone in the store to hear in an announcers voice.

"Don't announce it to friggin world!" I screamed at his yami moodily.

Ryou was passed out on the front desk, the manager staring at him with most "wtf mate" expression that you could think of.

"Get rid of the stick up your ass and then we'll talk," Melvin shouted right back at him.

Bakura was still styling people like crazy and managing to do two people at a time like a boss.

"Face it Marik you suck ass," Melvin smirked and poked me.

"No I don't, theres poop down there, its disgusting!" I shouted.

Melvin face palmed at my stupidity.

~Round Three

I threw my hands up in the air, emitting some sort of noise out of frustration which broke all the mirrors in the entire hair salon. One of the stray glass pieces jabbed Bakura in the eye which messed up his concentration and sent the scissors that he happened to be holding into the throat of one of the customers. The blood coming from the random customer's throat managed to blind two more of the customers which ran around the hair salon breaking everything else in sight. In the end...there was a lot of blood...a Melvin playing in said blood, a Ryou crying in the corner, and a Bakura whose eye was now dripping blood.

"Thats all I had to friggin' do!?" I shouted to the top of my lungs, which made Bakura's ears start to bleed and Melvin to pass out.

"You bloody idiot stop bloody screaming!" Bakura screamed at me.

"Don't tell me what to do you bloody kitty!" I screamed back.

Ryou in a desperate attempt said,"Ladies, ladies your both pretty even if your bleeding from your eye socket!"

"And my ears!"

"And your bloody ears!"

"Hey I have an idea what if we all made out!?" I yelled.

Both brits faced me and screamed to the top of their lungs,"No!"

"Jeez are you both on your man periods or what?"

"Sprinkle blood!" Melvin shouted, earning himself a collective "wtf" look and a blood squirt from Bakura's eye.

After a few moments of silence Bakura said,"I'm going to the hospital."

"Mkay make sure you get that man period checked out, and get some tampons I might be starting mine in like a week or something," I replied waving to him.

"I'm coming with you," Ryou said like his life depended on it.

"Make sure you grab some sprinkle blood okay, I want to make sprinkle blood cupcakes," Melvin shouted after him.

(Authors Note: I felt that this chapter is a piece of crap...so at the end I got a little...violent and weird because I was watching Don't Hug Me I'm Scared. Anyways, I hope you like it, even if a little bit, I don't know I'm not really proud of this one. ^^". Next chapter I think will be about how they get locked in the mall overnight or something, that idea was suggested by my brother and it sounded kind of nice. Plus I can get away with a lot of crap with that idea.)


	5. Bakura and Marik Work At A Mall

Bakura and Marik Work At A Mall...And Fail Oh So Horribly

"I can't believe we got locked out, and its all your bloody fault!" I growled, tugging on on the bars that caged us into this tiny store called Spencers.  
"Its not my fault I had to use the toilet, nature was calling Bakura friggin nature, not only that but it took a long time because-" Marik blathered.  
"I do not want to know what you do in there Marik," I replied before I could even hear his explanation.  
"Well I know what you do in there you sicko," he snapped back.  
"That's it your dead!" I screamed and started to chase him throughout the tiny confined space.  
We chased each other for a very very long time...a very...long time...in fact so very long (we get it!) well fine, so yeah we chased each other for a long time. This chase involves rainbow penis lollipops and many other...toys in the store. Sadly I tripped over one of the vibrators that Marik knocked over in the process...but then again he knocked over a lot of things in the process. He has this thing of running with his arms flailing around wildly...its actually very sad to watch. So yes I tripped over a vibrator and like any normal mortal I flailed around a little bit and excepted my fate of face palming the ground. Marik in turn laugh at me.  
"Shut your buggering face or I'll-" I stopped in mid-sentence as I felt vibrations in between my legs, no doubt the stupid sex toy turned on when I tripped. I in turn yelped and got as far away from the thing as I could, bumping into a shelf, ending up getting a whole bunch of shit all over me which still including rainbow penises (wow people love penises), cock rings, dildo's, anything in your sexual fantasies it fell on top of me, except Marik. Okay okay he did I admit it, he thought it would be funny to land on top of me which really hurt, considering one of his earrings poked me in the eye and he manage to nearly rupture my kidneys.  
"Why the bloody hell did you do that you bloody idiot!?" I yelled in a strained voice by the weight on top of me.  
"So I can do this," he smirked and shoved a vibrator down my pants that happened to be on.  
"You bloody bastard!" I shouted while squirming under his weight, trying with all my might to get away from him, because I happened to be very very turned on right now. In fact I was turned on almost throughout the entire day, just because of Marik. His leather pants practically showed everything. He nice toned ass for one thing, and lets not forget his midriff, god that midriff, sure its a little annoying when he goes on and on about it but he does have a point, its absolutely flawless. (Whoever gets that reference gets a cookie.) Not only that but we were surrounded by sex toys galore, who wouldn't be turned on?  
"Marik I'm going to kick your...nnnghh," I tried to threaten but got interrupted by the vibrations by my need.  
He smirked and leaned in to nip my neck before saying,"I know you wouldn't do that, you were staring at it all day I saw you."  
I gasped and felt my face heat up, was it getting warm in here or was that just me? Or maybe it was because they turn off the air conditioners in the mall when they lock up. Whatever it was I know it was getting hot and fast, and Marik being next to me was not helping one bit.  
I felt a pair of hands inch their way up my stomach, carassing me in all the right ways, Then I felt the male crash his lips against mine, our teeth clicking together, and then the fight for dominace began. As ours tongues collided with each other I felt a pair of hands continue to explore my body, the vibrations making me moan here and there and also making my pants very very tight.  
He broke the kiss then, victorious, and then said,"Whats wrong, does the kitten have a problem, we're going to have to fix that then won't we?"  
I felt the vibrator being removed as well as my pants, along with any other offending items until I was completely naked. I saw him drink it all in with his eyes, liking what he saw, or at least I hoped. Then he he stared at my erection, smirking and said,"I never expected you to be this hard so fast kitten."  
"Its been quite a while," I replied breathily.  
He chuckled and gave me a quick kiss before sliding something around my erection, I looked down and saw it was a cock ring.  
"You and I, are going to have great great fun," Marik purred before giving a nice long stroke to my hardened member.  
I immediately cried out, bucking my hips up to his hands in hopes he would continue, no matter how torturous they could be.  
And continue he did, both of us content to be as loud as we wanted sense there was no one around...hopefully. After what seemed like hours the torture finally stopped, Marik seeming satified by my submissive state removed the cock ring and placed three fingers in front of my mouth. I immediately took them into my mouth, coating them with my saliva even though we were surrounded by lube. This elicited moans from my partner in crime of course which only seemed to make Marik more anxious to get inside of me by the minute. After a few moments of myself sucking on his fingers, he growled anxiously and pulled them out of my mouth eliciting a pop sound, immediately entering two fingers, getting impatient. Of course I didn't really mind, being a villian I tend to enjoy the feeling of pain to an extent.  
Sooner or later the egyptian's patience finally wore out and decides I was prepared enough, forcing himself in rather roughly, much to my pleasure. I didn't even care if we we're going to get fired, what the bloody hell did they expect from two gay guys, alone in a store full of "toys." I groaned and pushed back against him, my patience also running out. And move he did, and as we made hatred together, we didn't notice my hikari and his yami standing there and gawking at us. Okay so its a little exaggerated, Melvin mostly started snickering and my hikari stood there frozen in fear, surely traumatized. Did we see them or even hear them? Hell no, at that point I was too far gone to even care with the waves of pleasure coursing through my body. In fact I didn't even notice Ryou's tiny yelp when Melvin decides to drag him off somewhere secluded.  
A moment or two later, Marik collasped on top of me, exhausted from our...activities. Both of us too tired to actually clean up after ourselves, slept right there in the middle of Spencers. And what do you know? We managed to actually wake up before the manager came back...but we still managed to get fired because we were both in the buck, but hey at least we woke up right? Not only that but we are now officially banned from every Spencer's in the U.S. Was it worth it? Oh yes it was, it was very bloody worth it.

(Authors Note: Yeah I know I haven't updated in a while on this series, I tried my hand at writing yaoi, I can't say I like it because I wrote half of it when awake and the other half when I was dead tired, I shall try again next time with Deathshipping. So yeah here's a little gift for all you guys before I leave for school tomorrow, don't worry though my lovelies I will write more and next chapter will be better then this filth. The game plan is that they manage to get locked in a bakery of some sort :3.)


	6. Ryou and Melvin Work At A Bakery

Ryou and Melvin Work At...A BAKERY!

~Ryou's POV!~

~Warning: Deathshipping, if you don't like guy on guy stuff aka yaoi get the frig off my lawn thank you very much!

I turned toward's Marik's yami after I was finished taking the customers order and ready to give it to Melvin who was SUPPOSED to fulfill the orders. Instead said yami had a tube of frosting, white I might add, near his crotch and squirting it while making erotic sounds and moaning my name. This in turn not only made my face feel warm but other places aswell and the yami knew it.

"M-Melvin you stop that right now and fill out the orders you wanker!" I said trying to keep my voice under control and failing miserably.

"Oh come on you know you like it creampuff," he replied, putting the tube of icing back on one of the counters and cleaning up his mess.

I busied myself as much as I could, putting up with his antics throughout the day, most of them managing to arouse me even more then the last. I was determined to not be fired this time because the one benefit of working here was that you could get free creampuffs, as much as you liked just so long as you made them yourself. During one of his many antics though we didn't notice the manager closed the shop with us in it, but in the end I bet he didn't even care that we were stuck in there for the night just as long as he got home in time for the football game on the telly tonight.

"Well creampuff, it looks like we're alone now," Melvin said, a huge sadistic grin that could tear the paint from the walls

I gulped nervously and backed up against the metal bars, looking much like a caged animal.

I stammered nervously,"W-what are you going to do to me?"

"Oh don't worry little creampuff, I'll make sure you'll enjoy every moment of it," he replied, taking out a pair of hand cuffs, forcfully cuffing one of my hands and using the other to be attached to one of the bars so I couldn't run away, using another pair of hand cuffs to do the same with my other hand so both hands were restrained.

I immediately started to panic, not at all liking the feeling of being restrained. Melvin stared at my petty attempts to try and yank my hands free and let out an evil cackle before walking up and unbuttoning my pants, yanking them down so only my boxers showed, my member already beginning to harden. Melvin smirked before latching onto my neck, biting at the sensitive flesh hungrily. I gasped loudly, and tried to move away even though I knew this was what I wanted all day long.

"Don't try to fight it little creampuff, you and I both know that you want it," he purred into my ear before shoving his hands up under my shirt, his hands exploring every inch of my torso.

I shivered and breathlessly shouted,"Stop p-please w-what if we get caught?"

Melvin snorted,"We won't get caught silly creampuff, if you haven't noticed by now everyone left."

"B-But," I tried to say before I felt his lips being crushed against mine, I gave a tiny gasp and he took that moment to his advantage to explore my mouth. I moaned and allowed him to explore me all he wanted, loving how he was touching me in all the right places even though this was our first time actually "learning" about each other. I was too distracted by the make out session to even realize my boxers being slid down inch by inch, freeing my already hard member.

Melvin suddenly relinquished his hold on my mouth, eyeing me up and down before literally ripping my shirt open. I yelped at the sudden action and gasped as cool whip was sprayed on his torso, my nose wrinkling at the thought of being sticky, but too turned on to really care.

Melvin smirked,"Now you actually look like a cream puff, and I don't mind saying that you look really...delicious."

I shivered at the look on his face, representing what one might say a hungry lion might look. He chuckled and decided to dig in on his little treat, licking slowly up my torso, giving a love nip here and there as he went. I started to shiver uncontrollably, pleasure over taking my mind even with the slightest nips and touches he gave me. He kept his eyes on my face, getting his arousal just by my moans and gasps. He growled, unable to to hold himself back any longer, practically ripping off every article of clothing he had.

I blushed immediately at the sight of his erection, standing proud before looking at the other parts of his body, feeling rather unworthy to even look at such a beautiful but sadistic creature.

He growled and forced three fingers into my mouth,"Suck."

I immediately obeyed, feeling a small prickle of fear of what was to come but also wanting it oh so badly.

He growled impatiently and took his fingers out of my mouth with a small pop sound before sticking two in. I gasped and squirmed at the intrusion, whimpering slightly at my throbbing need and how close it was to have him finally inside me after all these months of hinting and flirting. He took this as a sign to continue, waiting a few moments before entering a third and stretching me out further. I choked back a whimper of pain, refusing to show any weakness in fear he might just end it here to stop from hurting me. He quickly took out his three fingers, deeming me prepared enough before entering inside of me. I immediately cried out in pain, choking back a sob.

"Relax, little creampuff, it'll get better," he replied, kissing down my jawline to try and soothe me. After a moment or two of kisses and love nips I gave him the signal to start moving, choking back any whimpers while he moved a few times.

I suddenly cried out in pleasure,"O-Oh gods again p-please!"

He smirked victoriously and obeyed, his thrusts getting harder and faster, tears running down my face at such a sinful pleasure and with such a person that was way out of my league. I pulled against my restraints, wanting so badly to touch him in fear he might disappear, screaming out at the intense pleasure over taking me. He growled in response my screams pulling him closer to the edge.

"Oh gods Mel!" I screamed at the top of my lungs at my release.

"Oh Ra Ryou," he replied, the tightening of my entrance throwing him off his own edge.

For a few moments we just stood there, well I mostly just hung there by my restraints panting. Melvin, finally of his own high uncuffed me from the bars, letting me collasp into his arms.

"T-That w-was amazing," I replied breathlessly as he set me down on a table, using a napkin to clean off my torso.

Melvin chuckled breathily, kissing me roughly on the lips before getting his own clothes on and cleaning up our mess so no one would know what "really" went on during our night locked in the bakery. I in turn put my clothes back on, or at least my pants, my shirt already ruined by our activities together, hoping that maybe they had a few spare shirts stored around here somewhere. After Melvin deemed the place clean enough he sat next to me on one of the tables scooping me into his arms,"You should rest creampuff, we got a long night ahead of us."

"What about you, you need to rest to," I replied sleepily.

"Well one of us needs to stay up and explain why your shirt got ripped into shreds right?" Melvin replied back running my hands through my hair.

"B-But-" I started to say before I felt his lips upon mine again, much softer this time.

He slowly pulled away, pressing his finger to my lips when I tried to open my mouth again. I pouted slightly and obeyed, closing my eyes and letting the temptation of sleep take over me. Next thing I knew I was in bed next to my lover at 8 o' clock in the morning, and what do you know, for once in our lives we didn't get fired, but Bakura and Marik sure did. But then again what else did you expect?

~Aight Authors Note: I tried writing another fan service chapter, something more in detail. I tried much harder on this one then the last one but I still think it could've been better. I would love some comments on how I can improve or suggestions on what the next chapter should be. Chances are I will take your suggestion, sense my own ideas are running a little thin right now. Anyways I hoped you guys like it! I will try to update at least once or twice every week.


	7. Bakura and Marik Works at A School Cafe

~Alright so its time that I update a bit on Bakura and Marik Works At...series, and this chapter is in Melvin's point of view, and they are all working at a school cafeteria! Enjoy!~

~  
"Oh no friggin way your saying we need to feed those brats!?," Marik shouted in disbelief in his whiny high-pitched voice.  
"Are we going to have to eat that crap to," Bakura blurted, turning a little green at the thought.  
"Oh shut up you two, I think its a rather fun idea, after all imagine how many kids we can poison without even trying," I blurted out casually.  
"Oh my, n-no Melvin we will not be poisoning kids okay," Ryou blurted with urgency.  
"Welllll you might not poison the kids, but I definantly will, whether you bloody want me to or not," Bakura blurted.  
"Oh come on you friggin morons, we're already responsible for the deaths at the hair salon...and that was like what 3 or 4 people, I don't want to be responsible for a gazillion more," Marik whined.  
"Gazillion is not a real number Marik," Bakura replied patiently.  
"Y-Your British you don't know how to count," Marik replied back, scowling at Bakura.  
"I do to...1...2...3...uh...okay fine so I can only get up to three but I'm better at counting then you, you got to one," Bakura snapped at his boyfriend.  
"That was one time and I was friggin drunk okay, let it go!" Marik snapped back.  
"Hey...guys?" Ryou replied softly.  
"Yeah right if you consider stupid, being drunk!"  
"At least I'm not horny as ass when I'm drunk, like you are you freaking cat!"  
"Call me a cat one more time and I'll..."  
"WILL YOU BOTH SHUT THE HELL UP YOUR BOTH IDIOTS EVEN WHEN YOUR NOT DRUNK!" Ryou screamed to the top of his lungs, shattering a few glasses here and there.  
Everyone but me turned to look at Ryou because my ears were now bleeding and I was trying to lick the blood off with my unusually big tongue.  
Marik made some sniffle like noise, while Bakura narrowed his eyes at his hikari and sneezed like a kitten in response.  
Ryou glared and in a strange demonic voice said,"Now you little bitches get your asses in gear otherwise I'm going to get Bob the hose and trust me you don't want to see Bob the hose."  
Bakura squeaked and ran off, tripping over his feet here and there, while Marik ran straight into a wall, before running off to get ready.  
I looked at Ryou, my eyes widened in surprise and awe at how such a petite effeminate male could produce such a demonic voice in the first place. Ryou returned my gaze, smiling innocently once again before tackling me to the floor and ravaging me with kisses and love bites...

So yeah after our little make out session we finally made it to the school and we were now making random sick looking stuff for the little demons...I mean angels...to eat...and die on...I mean...nourish on...okay okay so I put some laxitives in the mix but come on its not poison.  
Ryou pissily started adding any random ingredients that looked relatively unexpired and added them into the soup like mixture. While Bakura whined to Ryou about needing to use the restroom, when we were all sure he just wanted to get out of work, that or rape children...hey don't look at me we don't know his true motives sometimes.  
Marik groaned,"Just let him use the friggin bathroom already Ryou, he won't stop complaining!"  
Ryou dug out Steve the spray bottle and pointed it directly at Bakura, who hissed and shied away at the corner, scratching the air exactly like a cat that is threatened.  
"That'll shut the bitch up for awhile," Ryou replied in his demonic voice.  
"What's wrong with you Ryou, are you on your man period," Marik asked, being the idiot he usually is.  
"Marik men do not have periods," Ryou snapped back.  
"Well that's what you think..."  
"Aw leave him alone Marik, I'll take care of him tonight," I replied in a husky voice.  
Ryou blushed and looked away, accidentally knocking the salt shaker in the pot of mystery.  
Bakura slowly slunk out of the corner a few minutes later, hugging his boyfriend while looking at the spray bottle with wide, horrified eyes.  
"Its just water Bakura come on...oh now that I think of it...isn't it bath night?" Marik blurted out, putting a finger to his lips in thought.  
Bakura whined and dashed off into the corner again, screaming about bath water and how gross it is and how wet it is.  
Marik groaned,"I can't believe I'm dating such a pansy."  
"Well at least he's not afraid of the dark," I replied with a sadistic smirk.  
"Hey I have a good reason for that!" Marik screeched only to get hit by the pepper shaker that Ryou chuked at his head.  
"FRIGGIN HELL RYOU YOU COULD'VE THROWN SOMETHING SOFTER!"  
"Yes but it wouldn't have had hurt at much," he replied in his innocent voice.  
"THE WATER BURNS US THE WATER BURNS US THE WATER BURNS US RYOU!" Bakura screamed, rolling around pathetically on the floor.

"But I don't want thaaatt," a kid whined.  
"Do I look like I give a shit," I replied, frowning in annoyance.  
"No but..."  
"Exactly, next!"  
Bakura managed to drag himself up off the ground and started to fill up the children's plate, growling death threats and insults to every kid as they passed by.  
"Your mother's a hamster and your father smells of elder berries," he replied monotonously.  
The kid stuck out his bottom lip and walked off sniffling to one of the tables.  
"I fucked your mom last night," he replied in the same voice.  
"Oh that was you?" a child replied in a curious voice before also going to some random table.  
"I fucked your dad last night," he said to a small girl.  
"But my dad's dead..."  
"Would you like to also be dead?" he replied, raising an eyebrow with a mischievous smirk on his face.  
"No..."  
Bakura's face twisted into a creeper face,"Then I suggest you get out of my peripheral vision you little shit."  
The girl gave him a glare and flipped him off before going off to find a seat.  
"Such big words Bakura," Ryou replied over his shoulder with venom.  
"Shut up hikari."  
I managed to continue on with my work wordless, while on the inside patiently waiting for my master mind plan to unravel. Bakura continued to insult each kid until everyone had food and we were left bored out of our minds, except Marik who was...singing...to the kids in his nasally and whiny voice.  
"Will you shut up!" one of the kids whined near the back.  
"No shut the frig up my singing voice is beautiful, your just jealous because I look sexier then you," Marik shouted and threw a spoon at the person who said that.  
"This food sucks," one other kid replied.  
"Yeah well life sucks, you don't hear me complaining," I retorted while Marik screamed that's what she said at the child.  
Bakura managed to pass out by the stove, unaware of the stupidity around him.  
Ryou sighed and curled up next to his yami, feeling rather depressed for no apparent reason, or one that I could see.  
~ 3 hours later ~  
I kicked Bakura a few times to wake him up, telling him that we could go home now. He grumbled and cracked his back, his back emitting a rather...healthy sound and grumbled, nudging his hikari awake. Marik managed to pass out on a table...that I already cleaned...and was drooling on it so much that the drool was now dripping on the floor that I also cleaned moments before. Ryou held his arms out to me and with a sleepy voice said,"Carry me."  
I sighed and lifted my lover up, carrying him bridal style and led the way out of the dump. Bakura immediately ran off to the bathroom only wail,"Nooooo" as all the stalls were filled up with people. Not only that but one of the sinks decided to stop working and was spraying water all over his face. I in turn laughed like a maniac and ditched the fluffy psychopathe in search of a bed to lay my precious love down. Marik in return ran off to the playground to play on the swings and slides and all the other crap that could probably break any kids neck. Managing to break all of the play equipment he ran over to me and gave me a thumbs up, which I happily did not return. And together, the three of us...along with a very wet looking Bakura a few moments later, walked home in the sunset. And for once, every single one of us were happy we got fired, also promising to never have kids in the near future.


	8. Bakura and Marik Works At A Daycare Pt1

~ A sudden burst of inspiration...thank you Courtney! Marik's POV. Also to the ones reading this, have no fear I haven't forgotten your suggestions yet, I'll get to everyone's as fast as I can, but I first need to get an idea for some of them and what order they will have to go in (I don't want to break the pattern of Bakura, Ryou, Melvin, Marik so yeah lol).~

"No no no no!" Bakura screamed and held his hands over his ears as Ryou blathered about signing us all up to work at a daycare.  
"Yes yes yes yes yes!" Ryou screamed back, spraying Bakura a few times with Steve the spray bottle.  
If you must know, Bakura is deathly afraid of children, how he suffered through the haunted mansion and working at the school, I will never know. With the exception that he was also deathly afraid of water, I still suffer from scratches and bruises from last nights bath incident. Meanwhile Melvin was sharpening his knives for todays big day, saying something along the lines of "those fucking brats will never take me alive!"  
I rolled my eyes and stalked off, not understanding what the huge hype was about, I didn't exactly like or dislike kids, I'm just meh. Now...what should I wear.

"Giiiirllll, those shoes with that perm," I whined, assessing the manager of the day care with disgust.  
"Dude, for the last time...I'm a guy," the manager replied with a scowl.  
"Oh..."  
Bakura screamed as he was dragged by Ryou into the building, his nails emitting a high pitched squeal and he clawed at the floor for dear life.  
"Heyyyyy Bakura, look what Mel's got," Ryou replied in a voice that sounded like he was talking to a dog or a small child.  
Melvin flashed a creepy grin before holding up a beautiful, bloodstained, sharp as hell, knife. Bakura's eyes immediately widened and filled with tears at the beautifulness...of the beautiful knife...FRIG OFF BEAUTIFULNESS IS NOW A WORD!  
"Want," Bakura childishly said, reaching out for said knife and tugging at the leash Ryou tied around his neck.  
"Kitty!" a bazillion kids screamed at the top of their puny lungs, running straight for Bakura...FRIGG OFF BAKURA BAZILLION IS A WORD!  
Bakura emitted the most manly scream I ever heard, shattering all the glass in the building before hopping up on Ryou's head and sitting there. Melvin cackled and started chasing the tiny group of kids with one of the knives he brought along, enticing blood curdling screams from the kids.  
The manager look us up and down before shrugging and replying,"Yeah you guys look safe enough," and ditching us all to go get a drink at the local bar.  
Bakura screamed again as one of the kids attached itself and began climbing up Ryou who had a face resembling this -.-, not to mention the kid was foaming at the mouth and chanting in some demonic language. Yep I'd say he's perfectly fine. Ryou screamed some random gibberish, stopping everyone in their tracks to look at him with wide eyes.  
"Ah yes, now that I have everyone's attention, ducks, that is all," Ryou replied and walked off to the kitchen to make some dinner for the little demon spawns.  
Bakura was dropped on a ceiling fan by Ryou, now shivering and crying out random gibberish things under his breath. I clucked my tongue and took out a straight jacket, wrapping it around my boyfriend for safe keeping and stalking off to round up the kids to read a story.

"And that's how the drunk man died...the end," Melvin said, smiling sadistically at the shocked faces of the children.  
"B-But what happened to the cow..."  
"Oh the cow became president of the United States and the goose died shortly of a crack addiction," he replied casually.  
"Oh..."  
I, in the meantime was having a clapping contest with one of the kids...by the way I won that one.  
"Alright, time for food that's not poisoned for once," Ryou replied in a sing song voice, attracting a bunch of woodland animals to his side.  
"Wow that wildlife infestation is really taking its toll isn't it?" I replied casually.  
Melvin produced a knife with an evil grin,"Who wants chislick tonight, I'm cooking it!"  
"Mmmm I would love some rabbit stew right about now," Bakura replied, rubbing his stomach from the ceiling fan, escaping from the straight jacket moments before.  
Ryou threw a bowl of mac and cheese at Bakura and Melvin, "No rabbit stew, no chislick, we dine on mac and cheese!"  
"Owww it burns, isn't this the same eye that was dripping blood in one of the early chapters?!" Bakura screamed.  
Melvin opened his mouth, consuming the mac and cheese and the bowl in one gulp. I stared at him in confusion and he in turn smiled...rather innocently at me.

"Okay so who needs to go to the bathroom before nighttime?" Ryou said in a sickeningly sweet voice...oh wait that's his normal voice...huh...who would of thought.  
"I dooo," Bakura screamed before falling of the ceiling fan gracefully on his face, in which he was then attacked by children. Bakura then screamed bloody murder as the kids started to attack him with stuffed animals.  
Ryou giggled and snapped pictures of Bakura being beaten half to death by a bunch of children. I sighed and punted a few kids off my boyfriend before holding him like a kitten and throwing him outside. In return he gave me a weird look.  
"You said you needed to go to the bathroom Kitty so go," I replied.  
"For the last time Marik...I'M NOT A BLOODY KITTEN," Bakura retorted.  
"Could've fooled me," I retorted back  
"And me," Melvin replied.

After all the kids had their bathroom breaks, we finally settled them down on mats to nap, although a few kids crawled over to Bakura and tried to sleep on him. Bakura's response to this was a yelp, and getting squirt by Steve the spray bottle. Melvin passed out on a random conveniently placed couch with a knife pressed against his face, while Ryou was pretending to be a prison warden but instead of a night stick he had a spray bottle. And I was passed out on many kids...so yeah...OH COME ON THAT'S NOT DIRTY!  
The manager finally came to wake us up from this hell hole, in which Bakura was screaming victory while jumping up and down on a kid like a trampoline. The manager raised an eyebrow at this but said nothing. Melvin in response threw a knife at some other kid, impaling it on the little twerps shirt and holding him captive against the wall.  
"Hmmm well seeing as no kids were actually killed, I'd say you guys have done a pretty good job today," the manager replied, nodding in satisfaction.  
Bakura looked immediately heart broken,"B-But, what, y-your not firing us?"  
"Nope, come back tomorrow," the manager replied, stalking off and accidentally stepping on another child.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bakura screamed, getting glomped by many kids at once.  
I chuckled and took his hand and started to drag him home in the sunset while he complained of his skin being torn off by the razor sharp glass lining the daycare playground. And everyone laughed...except Ryou, Ryou was still pretending to be a prison warden...Ra he's good...


End file.
